Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you had made such a big mistake you couldn’t forgive yourself for it? Have you been in a position where you have made the same mistake over and over and over again and can’t figure it out? I can definitely relate to both of those.
A Huge Blowout
There was one particular time I was dealing with my son and things were not going well. He had a way of being defiant and finding just the right ways to try to antagonize me, which always left me stumped. Did I react to what he was doing, which was what he was going for, and punish him? Or did I find a way to be non-reactive?
I’ve tried many things over the years and I’ve had moderate success with everything but it’s always been very difficult. Having different parenting styles in two different homes did not make it easier.
On this particular day, it just continued to escalate. He was ready to have an all out brawl. Any approach I took, he was ready. From the get-go, everything he did was negative or hurtful in some way. There was something that was causing him to confront.
I ended up blowing up. I ended up yelling. We were yelling at each other, and it was a complete and utter epic failure. Afterward I felt like the worst dad in the world and a miserable loser. I was angry at myself and frustrated and couldn’t believe I would act like that. I was hurt that I would hurt somebody I really cared about by yelling. Any way I sliced it, I felt that I was nothing but a huge mistake.
A Better Way
Sometimes things just don’t work like you expect them to. Sometimes, no matter how well you can do at certain things, you may not do so well at other things. They can even be very similar things. I have two kids I relate to very well and a third one I swear I can’t figure out the best way to relate to him.
So what do you do when you feel like you have made a giant mistake and you just don’t know how to deal with it? I’m no expert. I’m no psychologist. I’m just a person who has made many mistakes. If you want somebody that knows how to do something, find someone that has done it a lot of times.
I hope that whatever situation you find yourself in, you find a way to improve it and yourself. Be kind to yourself and realize, you’re only human. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s even better if you can find the best way to deal with them, even the gigantic ones.