You can have a better relationship with your partner, or most anyone close to you in just five seconds. That’s all it takes.
First A Simple Disclaimer
This post applies to relationships where you or your family members feel safe. If you or your family members do not feel safe in your relationship, contact the National Domestic Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or go to thehotline.org from a safe computer.
A Simple Situation
I know you’re skeptical that you can have a better relationship in five seconds, and you should be. Relationships are complex. There is a lot of history, a lot of past experiences and memories, and a lot of challenges.
But they are also simple in some ways. For instance, we all like to hear nice things. We all like to feel valued and appreciated. We all like to feel like we matter in this world and to the people close to us.
A Simple Action
So, try this one thing: say something nice to the person you want a better relationship with every day. In fact, with your partner, why not do this together: say something nice about each other every day. Do it with kindness, happiness and thankfulness.
Don’t add anything else to it. Don’t slough it off with a joke. Be sincere. There may be tension in your relationship. You may be angry about a billion things. But there are still things about your partner worth praising.
If you can’t do this, maybe you need to evaluate your role in the current situation. You have decided to stay with this person. Either they have some positive qualities that, like a seed, need to be nurtured and tended to, or you are staying with someone you have zero regard for. If you have made up your mind to stay – for whatever reason – you need to nurture these plants.
If you want to be positive, but your partner has a way of demeaning you for everything, and you are absolutely sure you want to stay despite the somewhat toxic environment, then make it a little bit of a game. Try to find a sneaky way to water that plant of positivity without them knowing. Maybe say it quickly before you change subjects. Or maybe say it as they’re distracted. If you have made this decision, make the most out of following through.
A Simple Change
I’m not saying this will solve all your problems. I’m not saying your relationship will be the beacon of hope for generations to come. I’m saying that your relationship will be better. It may be a small improvement or a large improvement, but it will be an improvement. Either that or it will shine a light on a situation that needs to be addressed. Either way it will put you in a better position to make some positive changes.
Five seconds is all it takes to make your life more pleasant, while improving the life of someone close to you. Why not take those five seconds each day and change your life for the better?
My husband and I always say “thank you” and “please” to each other. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we shouldn’t show appreciation for simple kindnesses. Likewise, we encourage each other and bounce ideas off each other. We trust each other to let the other know when we have a really bad idea!
Nothing and no one is perfect but you can always be your best.
So true, Denise! What a great habit to have.