Anger Is about One Thing… Which Makes it Easier to Master


Anger is pretty much about one thing. Knowing that makes it a lot easier to turn it around.

I Get Angry When I Can’t Think of a Good Headline
We get angry about a lot of things. We get angry because someone cut us off in traffic. We get angry because Sue at work belittled us, making us feel like we weren’t important. We get angry because the lid is stuck on the @#$% peanut butter jar!

There are a lot of things that make us angry, but, in truth there is simply one cause.

Okay, I Don’t Really Get Angry, but These Headlines Are Terrible
Quite simply, anger is caused by a loss of control. We get angry because we want things to go one way, and they go another. Anger is a reaction when our brain is frustrated with an outcome to the point of rage.

We want to get to work on time or we want to be treated like we should or we want to get to the peanut butter in the @#$% peanut butter jar. We do our best to keep life humming along, and something or someone inevitably tries to foil our plans.

Does Anyone Read These Anyway?
But here’s the crazy thing: we really aren’t in control. Yes, we are in control to a certain extent. After all, we will die, but how we live might impact how long it will be before that happens. Or it may not. There are many factors that are outside of our control.

We can plan to get to work on time and do everything right, but an accident on the road is outside of our control. We may be nice, but Sue at work, whose 15 year marriage just ended, may lash out at us and make us feel small despite how kind we have been. We may work out every day, but someone in the peanut butter factory may have tightened that @#$% peanut butter jar just a little too much.

I Have a Mermaid for a Best Friend & Bigfoot Is Real
So, we can let the rage build and find someone to take it out on; we can scream into the windshield when we are cut off or give as good as we get when Sue lays into us or throw out the @#$% peanut butter because it won’t open.

Or we can let it go. We can realize that we don’t have to be in control. We can do our best to be prepared, responsible, and ready to take on the world, and when the world has other plans, we simply see what exciting new options are available to us.

We can roll down the windows and change the station and enjoy the breeze as we wait in traffic. We can find out why Sue would say something so mean when we know she’s such a nice person and then be able to help her through a really rough time. We can find another snack instead of that @#$% peanut butter.

We don’t have to let anger get the best of us. We can simply let go. Because when we follow the path that life has laid out for us, we may find that we let the best of ourselves shine through.

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About the author

David is a father, speaker, blogger (obviously), and author of How to Create Amazing Presentations sharing the tools, tips, and techniques of the experts to make you an amazing presenter, 7 Steps to Better Relationships built on the stories and lessons on this blog with seven easy steps to help you maximize your interactions with the people you care about most, and The Man in the Pit to help you care for loved ones struggling with depression.

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