Life can be challenging and crazy, but have you ever tried closing a door with your head?
It may be the thing that sets you apart.
A Fun Evening of Wrestling
The other night I was wrestling with my youngest, Evan. We were laughing and cutting up as he tried to show me how strong he was, and I let him know I wasn’t a pushover.
My girlfriend Cristi was looking on baffled at why we enjoyed this and bothered that we had knocked the door open.
You have to understand that this room is upstairs, right where all the heat in the house rushes on warm days. Cristi keeps the door pulled to with a small stop to keep it from closing all the way so she doesn’t get too warm. Unfortunately, we had the door wide open.
At one point I had pinned Ev. His arms and legs were immovable, try as he might. As he struggled and we laughed, Cristi called out kindly but directly “shut the door!”
I looked down at Ev with a grin on my face. “You heard Cristi. Shut the door,” I said, knowing full well he couldn’t move.
Closing a Door with Your Head
I was amazed to find Evan scooting toward the door. He was inching his way and laughing. Then, he put his head beside the door and pushed it. That didn’t quite do the trick so he scooted some more and did it again.
I was impressed. I was impressed that he did it. I was impressed that he even thought to do it. But I was more impressed because he found a solution in the middle of a challenge.
Evan is a lot like most of us. If you asked him to get off of a chair and do it, you will probably get some grumbling and you might have fo follow up by explaining how serious you were. In fact, in normal circumstances, he might have 5 million reasons why he couldn’t do it. Which makes this all the more impressive.
In the middle of being pinned down, his reaction was not “how can I?” Or “are you crazy?” He immediately came up with a solution. Who else would have thought of closing a door with your head?
Solution Focused
We often get stuck in “problem” mode and focus on why we can’t instead of how we can. We often give up on options or don’t even see them because we’re not really looking. However, when we’re pressed, it’s amazing how quickly we can find solutions to problems, just like Evan did when he was pinned down.
If you want to find solutions even when you’re not sure how, try these three simple steps:
- Limit Yourself: Evan found out that his limitations made it easier to come up with solutions. This can be a very useful tool. For instance, if you want to paint something it may be a challenge to think of a subject. But if you decide to paint an animal that’s colorful, your options suddenly become clearer.
- Believe There’s a Solution: Evan was in a mood to prove himself. He wasn’t about to be stopped by the inability to move. He was having fun and was trying fo find both a clever way to keep the fun going and to show he had the mettle to make it happen. Believe that your problem has a solution even if you haven’t found it yet. It’s much easier to find something you believe exists.
- Be Tenacious: This might also read “be cocky”. This had nothing to do with obeying to Evan. It had everything to do with being challenged with something ridiculous and being able to do it and say “yeah, I did it. What do you think about that?” If something’s making you feel stuck, be tenacious. Be cocky. Show that problem who’s boss.
You may not find yourself closing a door with your head, but you can make the most of your possibilities if you stay solution focused. Use these three simple steps and you will find that, even when you feel pinned down, you have more ability than you think.
