Lessons for My Dog: People Don’t Like Your Nose Up Their Butt

Zara with her ears perked up looking at the camera.

There are a lot of things I want my sweet little Zara to learn, but this is the last one for this series. This is how I end Lessons for My Dog: People don’t like your nose up their butt.

WAY too Curious

Zara is the typical dog. She’s curious. Way too curious. She wants to know what you had for breakfast, how much fiber is in your diet, and any dietary issues you are having; she knows just how to find out.

The thing is – and I know this will shock you – the way she does it is a little off-putting.

See, she struggles with proper etiquette. I’ve had to explain that barking and growling is not the way to make friends. She’s also had to learn that just because you want something doesn’t mean you can bite. And here’s one more area that she doesn’t get: people don’t like your nose up their butt.

I know all dogs think they are some version of House, a medical sleuth, ready to diagnose the most unexpected maladies with a prolonged sniff, but, and here’s the shocker: no one likes it.

How to Sniff Friends and Annoy People

Dale Carnegie should write a book for dogs. Zara wants so badly to make friends with the cats, but this obsession is so counter-productive.

There’s something unnerving about walking around only to have this ominous feeling someone’s in your business. I wish I could explain to Zara that people don’t like your nose up their butt. That’s a lesson I think all dogs could learn.

Just a Lesson for My Dog

Why won’t dogs learn that just because you want to know what’s going on with someone, even if you’re doing it because you feel it could help, it’s not cool to be all up in their business. At least people don’t do that. We keep our distance and let people come to us instead of snooping.

** cough ** ** cough **

Sorry. I had something in my throat. Anyway, this is just another lesson for my dog, like just because something smells like sh*t doesn’t mean you should eat it. Luckily people don’t do the same thing.

** cough ** thinly veiled message for those that didn’t get it before ** cough **.

Sorry. I think I’m coming down with something. Anyway, if you have a dog, share this lesson with them: people don’t like your nose up their butt. And if you happen to notice yourself with an inappropriately placed nose, just remember, the best way to help people is to be direct, as oddly unrelated as that statement may be.

Now if I can just get Zara to get the message.

(Also, here’s a few more pics of Zara to finish out the series)

Zara Asleep on the Legs

David Bishop

David is CEO of Cedowin Productions, dedicated to helping you live your best life through positive habits. He has inspired tens of thousands to improve habits and communication through books, articles, workshops, and apps.

He is the creator of AweVenture, helping families enjoy fantastic, active experiences and Zombie Goals, literally making building healthy habits a game. He’s authored several books including How to Create Amazing Presentations, 7 Steps to Better Relationships, and The Man in the Pit, which helps people who have loved ones struggling with depression.

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