My Annoying Parents

my annoying parents

Whenever I had a problem as a kid I would discover once again how annoying my parents were. As much as I wanted their compassion they would annoy me instead. 

Thank God.

A Different Kind of Kid

I was a different kind of child growing up. If I were on Sesame Street they would have put me in the “one of these things is not like the other” segment.

Sure I would play outside with friends. I loved football and played soccer. I rode bikes and made makeshift rafts to float in the local creek. Full disclosure: my rafts did not float; they hovered in some middle ground like Schrödinger’s Cat where it both did and did not float simultaneously.

Of course, the fact that I explain it like that highlights my difference.

Computer Geek

I loved logic and reason. Science and math made a ton of sense to me and other things – not so much.

Where most students loved essays because they could “BS their answer”, I liked multiple choice so I could deduce an answer if I didn’t know it. When I took chemistry in college other students were perplexed. “Biology is so easy!” “Sure,” I would reply, ”but Chemistry has math!”

I loved computers, and at thirteen my parents bought me one. I started writing my own word processor. This wasn’t mainstream stuff, which is why I often struggled to relate to people.

If only my annoying parents would have helped.

An Underwhelming Response

When I was younger and I would fight with my friends, I would run home and share my woes with my parents, who would instantly speak ill of those who wronged me.

Hahahahaha. Not my annoying parents.

When I was in school and people would pick on me, I would tell my mother what had happened so she would rush down to the school like Beverly Goildberg and make the principal set things straight.

LOL. Not my annoying parents.

When I had graduated and fought with a girlfriend, I would talk to my mom and she would call her up and clue her in.

ROFL. Not my annoying parents. My parents did something else entirely.

A Different Approach

My parents didn’t spend their time telling me how wrong the other people were. They didn’t run to my defense and tell me how horrible it was that I was being mistreated. They didn’t jump down the throats of the people who had hurt me and fix it all for me. There was no white knight to save me.

No. Not my annoying parents.

Instead they asked me questions. “Why do you think they acted that way?” “How would you have felt if that happened to you?” “Do you feel like that was the right way to respond?”

And then they would make me think about what I could do to make things better. ME! Not the horrible person who was in the wrong. (That was never me, by the way. I am a saint.)

My parents had this crazy notion that we can’t change other people; we can only change ourselves. So instead of fixing my problems, they spent their time getting me to understand how to fix myself. So annoying.

Thank God.

My Annoying Parents

I’m thankful for my parents. As annoying as it was to look for an ally in my anger and instead find adversity, I’m grateful. I looked for cohorts to champion my frustration. Instead I found professors to challenge my assumptions. 

I wanted someone to justify my negative reactions. Instead I had people who would promote positive approaches. I looked for someone to advocate my demonizations. Instead I found people who made me look for the good in others. I had hoped for someone who would rubber stamp my ill-conceived plans for retaliation. Instead I was given people who showed me the value of forgiveness and understanding.

My parents weren’t perfect. In trying to turn the dials of parenting to find the right spot between letting someone vent to feel heard and leading them toward a better path, they didn’t always hit the mark. But if they had to be off a bit, I’m glad they were off in the right direction. It may have been annoying, but it gave me the tools to make future challenges easier to handle.

Thank God for my annoying parents.

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10 Responses

  1. I so enjoyed reading about your annoying parents, who I love and privileged to know! David, you are a great communicator! Keep writing and I will keep reading! Have a blessed day. 🥰

  2. Loved them. Am in Mexico for a few weeks and miss them terribly. Just this morning I asked the Lord to give them hugs for me. They were such a great part of our lives here. Thank you. I know you loved them dearly.

    1. I hope you are having a great time in Mexico! I have two paintings in my living room of my parents, one of my mom and one of my dad – both are in Cabo. I know they always had such a great time with you there.

  3. I love your mom and dad! I look forward to the day when I can see them face to face! Marc and Vern beat me there, but one day …

  4. Oh David, that was wonderful, and oh so true. I just told Bryan, once again ;), that Momma always played Devil’s advocate and would want me to see the situation from the other persons point of view. She recognized that I needed to be validated in my frustration, and this always came first. Such a wise Momma and Daddy and I miss them both so much. Just yesterday I wished, once again, that I could talk to them and glean their wisdom on a particular situation. They left too soon, and I look forward to seeing them one day! Thanks for honoring Momma and Daddy this way. Well said, and fun to read!

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About the author

David is a father, speaker, blogger (obviously), and author of How to Create Amazing Presentations sharing the tools, tips, and techniques of the experts to make you an amazing presenter, 7 Steps to Better Relationships built on the stories and lessons on this blog with seven easy steps to help you maximize your interactions with the people you care about most, and The Man in the Pit to help you care for loved ones struggling with depression.

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