If you want your relationships to be fulfilling and rewarding, you have have to teach people how to love you.
A Horrible Lesson
I grew up with parents who loved me. They were not perfect by any stretch, but they did the best they knew how, and, for the most part, that was really good.
Unfortunately there was a lesson that was common at the time that they taught me as well. Although it wasn’t put into words, the idea was simple: feeling good about yourself was prideful.
It wasn’t the way it was meant, but it was the outcome, nonetheless. Thinking about yourself positively was a negative. Instead, you should never focus on yourself unless you’re thinking about something you should fix.
It’s a horrible thought, not only because it does damage to one’s own self worth, but also with that person’s ability to help others. What’s more, this type of thinking will teach people how to love you, and it’s not the way you want.
How to Teach Others
People learn how to love you by seeing the way you love yourself.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you” – Rupi Kaur
If you feel valuable, they will treat you like you’re valuable. If you feel worthless, they will treat you like you’re worthless (although I would hope anyone who frequents this site would never treat anyone like they’re worthless; no one is worthless).
Treat yourself with value. You are valuable. What’s more, when you feel valuable, you can be the light for others who don’t feel so valuable. It’s one way to make your actions count.
Enjoy who you are. Have fun with who you are. It’s good to feel good about yourself. Not only does it teach people how to love you, it also helps you love yourself.
David, thanks so much for this post! It’s all so true and I feel like many of us need this reminder periodically. Good thoughts to start my day with. A morning reflection sets the tone for the day. It’s 8:38am as I write this on a Wednesday morning, and I’ll be thinking about this through my day.